Wasting Away
There’s a dirty smog
spreading across our twilight skies
and the stars are blinking silently now
inside their darkening highs.
Its spreading itself out
under cloaked disguise
clouding over idealistic eyes
growing apathy like a thickening skin
cause it’s only just a living
giving, ourselves away
wasting time upon a rainy day
and its pouring, while we wear
these heavy black clouds
Dirty stars
trying to wash ourselves clean
by skinning up our secrets to dream
that this ever surreal
has the power to heal
pain from awaiting the fate
of this world on our backs.
As our paper notes
rob our destinies
of any real meaning
our silent agreement
is suffocating hopeful feelings
rising up, doing battle for breath
before dying away.
Wishing away
our responsibilities
shrinking in these thoughts
that this is all we got
to live out life, to spend it
wasting away
dreaming of a better day
seeing the subtleties
but missing the obvious
Trapped in the thought
that this is all we got
to live out life
spending it
projecting
silent broken hearted sparks
out into the dark.
Forbidden thoughts
Laying in the bath, immersed
in forbidden thoughts
of motherhood.
Remembering the initial shock.
knowing before I spoke
your sentence .
Re living appointments
in sterile smelling corridors.
Creeping through them
a drained shadow
hanging on to your arm.
Watching glowing women
with their humps
smile and wipe noses.
Forcing myself to sip
making it easier to see
my mistake on the machine.
Before they handed it to me
a magic sweetie
So I pop the pill
Swallowing it down
like a well earned paracetamol
Before going home to bed
like a good little girl.
Sleeping that night
dreaming of murder.
Waking up early
and sneaking out like traitors
with our dirty secret.
Laying on the bed, my legs spread.
Thinking of long lonely needles
ripping into flesh, dark alleyways
and their dirty secrets
shame, seeping across the tiles.
Climbing inside the pain
releasing this ,one breath at a time.
Until its nothing, but an empty ache
a collection of blood soaked cells
in a tiny cardboard tomb.
Forbidden to grieve
for what might have been
I’m still so full
of these forbidden thoughts .
Little lambs dressed up a sheep
The bus screeches to a stop
as demons pile on, in gangs.
Little lambs, dressed up as sheep
growling and showing teeth.
Their rough, bitching
is bruising tender ears.
As shocking renditions
scratch across the mind.
A scarlet flush, creeps
Its way across my cheek.
As unshed tears well up
for falling angels.
Set to self destruct
His fragile frame, shocked me
from my complacency.
Blinkered, I could hide
the glaring similarities
but when reality came to rest
in all its bleakness
there was no choice
but to face this.
Stare into his blank eyes
and hear a rasping call
consequences are just
contradictory illusions
until we view their effects.
A stabbing pain, to think
what I could lose
in this darkest hour
when twilight's gone.
His face is mine
our end is shared.
and all around
are mirrors of us
set to self destruct.
Playing dress up for the day
Carrying my mannequin
all about the town.
It’s reflection flashing
as I’m strutting past.
Tugging in restraints
my skin starts to crawl.
Feeling so small
I’m unnaturally tall.
These labels, I’m wearing
are gaping and tearing
and people are obviously
staring.
At this cramped
revamped, tramp
playing dress up
for the day.
Closed doors
Searching for sanctuary.
The wardrobe appears appealing
inviting, with its doors left ajar.
Standing to measure, to see if I fit
before crouching and clambering in
wood, cold to the touch, in the dark.
Shutting myself up, inside
with no glistening forests
or fawns, ready to rescue.
Just, reality demanding more
from behind these closed doors.
Soul Mating
Your mind stimulates my growth.
Your mellowness gives me stillness
while I’m storming.
Your body, bonding to mine
feels like the perfect Devine.
meaning in this magnetism
reasoning to remake
someone worth reaching out for.
To inspire, desire reflect and protect
the very best this gets.
When every, obstinate little hurdle
feels like a steeping stone
towards our empathy.
binding me to life
with its big, beautiful breaths.
Learning fast
as we are rounding each others corners
owning up to the magnitude
of heart, beating below this breast.
As these streams
of considerate thoughts, bless
in the potent power of opposites
balancing each others attributes.
As I imagine
we are, two flickering earth lights
dancing harmoniously through time
lighting and leaving our tracers.
Love is Devine and I give you mine
My companion in time.
